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a cold gush of water

I won't be typing in paragraphs because I know people hate reading long chucks of text (that includes me too) &I don't really want people who don't bother about me enough t do what they hate t read this post (take your time t digest, I'm sure it'll get in some time). this is the first time that I am penning (or rather, typing) down how I feel whn I'm feeling upset. I dislike letting people find out/know about my problems. usually, I explain myself by saying that I hate t bother others, 'I can be depressed myself, so why shld I drag my friends down with me? getting upset tgth is pointless. if I can bear all these myself, I won't want t get my friends involved in my problems'. that's frm the very weidaChmel. sure, it's true, but the main reason will be that I don't like t be vulnerable. t anything. but today, I felt so. empty out of a sudden. why is my life so fake and surreal? a cold gush of water poured over me, &I woke up. I realised that I was actually in a dream; I'm still Primary one, with no worries, so carefree. ahh. I'm still so proud about knowing that 9 x 9 = 81. My form teacher just praised me &gave me her kaya bread for topping the class yet again. I go home with my mother, carrying my bag for me, she's like the angel, she knows everything. I reach home, &I greet my brothers, they're all so friendly and nice, my world is perfect. just thn, ZhiYing calls. we bicker over who is t be pink ranger &who t be yellow. she won in the end, but I'm not mad. ahh, I'm P3 now. I'm starting t wear singlets and MrTay just treated us t tapioca chips because it's Childrens' Day. how fun. it was raining before sch, &my mother brought me t sch. I wore slippers &changed out of it whn I reached the school campus. ahh. I can't stand it anymore, I'm crying while typing all these shit. I want my life back.

'Paper Friendship will never tear, spoil or damage in any form unless came into contact with tea, perfume, kettles, vampires or copycats. Or if eaten by any hamsters who have been tortured by some smelly shit.Manufactured: 31.07.2004Expiry date: 41813248971412 years after, and still counting'

hey, I really. wish that. you.

ah.

just like toothpaste in the eye, it stings.

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Anonymous said…
I bothered to care and I read.

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