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Just feel like I'm sinking back into the abyss I've spent my whole fucking life crawling out of. It's almost like as if I'm crawling out of a well, just to realise that the real world is not just blue skies and happy birds; it's another well altogether. It's kinda scary right.: when will it end? When will I truly be free?

Tutoring helps by making me obliged to go to school . But I'm getting lazier and lazier each day. What if one day I just give up? I'm not responsible enough for this.


So many tilty things happening recently :<

Comments

Anonymous said…
I love reading your blog. I love reading it all the time. I love how vulnerable you are in your posts because I can totally relate them. But you shouldn't be releasing them to the public. people wouldn't understand. They will call you a psycho and a bipolar and they will scorn at your misery. You hope, even for a little bit, that someone out there will understand your pain. But nobody does. I like you but I wouldn't want you as a friend because you can be crazy and people don't like crazy. I suppose you are someone who has a little thrill reading about Ted Bund or has a little duping delight when you get your way at the expense of someone else. At times you crave to be understood but really, you are secretly happy at the success of some of your lies. you wouldn't say anyone really knows you because your stories, like your behavior and personality are often packed with lies that are carefully planned so people will see you in a certain way. Not necessarily see you in a better light but who cares really. It's just in your nature to deceive and get things in your control. not that you don't love them, you just love yourself a bit more.
4:33 PM
ChmelO! said…
Wow how do you even leave comments I can't even access the comment page on my desktop haha. Thanks for the comment and you're very right in several aspects but I no longer relish in someone else's misery. I also try my best to be real and not lie so I'm not sure what are you talking about (probably my older posts from when I'm more immature and malevolent). People don't like crazy, but do you? I'd like to know you more: hit me up at chmel.oh@Gmail.com. there's no need to create a fake account I'm not gonna stalk. ^^

Hope this somehow gets to you.
9:02 PM
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