Just attended a beautiful wedding at Mandarin Orchard last night.
Bubbles flew when the bride walked into the ballroom. We threw flower petals to welcome the newly weds in too.
It was phenomenal!
In the morning, there was the gate crash and the sisters bullied the shit out of the boys.
It was a really nice time getting to know the bride's (she's my cousin) friends more but most of the time I was playing with the little one:
baby peed on the bed the night before
It was a really good (albeit exhausting) day. But then the thinker in me started to ask: is this the kind of wedding I want? Is this how I want to remember the precious day I first share a legal union with the man of my life?
During dinner, I asked around for the cost of a typical wedding. I got mixed responses, but it seems like the range is from 50k onwards.
It seems almost like as if one is paying this 5-6 figure sum to have a terrible time. I mean, I hope my cousin enjoyed her wedding as much as I did, but this whole rush of changing into another attire, changing hairstyles, rushing to the different families and venues to get photos taken... idk. it seems really meaningless and tiring.
The photographer who tagged along was a really nice chap w a killer sense of humor. He really brightened up the whole atmosphere w his presence. But I don't like the idea of wedding photography.. Every moment seems so contrived. I wanna kiss my groom when he unveils me. I want to relish in that memory and bask in that joy forever. It's hard to do so when you have people telling you that the kiss should hold there for 5 sec and dictating that you should kiss more to the left and tilt your head a bit more etc etc.
Photographs should serve as an channel to teleport you back to that glorious moment when the photograph is taken. But with a wedding photographer, Most of these moments are unreal.. They're not close to our hearts. Yes I do want artefacts to look back upon when my hair turns grey and my teeth fall off but more so, I want the actual memories to hold close to my heart. In today's world of fb ig twitter, we create fake identities and memories just so that people can Like it. What does a like do anyway? Does it boost your ego and make us happier? Does it validate our existence? Is it a constant competition to get more likes and followers? I think that's fucking dumb. (but yes, I'm guilty of feeling that way sometimes, we all are) I think we are all losing ourselves to each other..
I would like my "wedding" to be more heartfelt and close. I think my ideal wedding will be to spend one day/night with every close group of relative/friends I have. Not just over dinner, but like doing smth (hitting the arcade, going to a theme park, play mahjiong after dinner, singing at the KTV, go clubbing and try not to get smashed etc). In this way, the people I care about will get to see my husband for who he really is; and to have some proper interaction with him. This instead of just seeing him/us as the "celebrity" of the night and having small talk that lasts for 5 min tops cause bride has to change into smth else etc.
I won't mind spending up to 2k on each family. (if we each have 10 groups of relative and friends (and 10 is a bit of a stretch), we would still have at least 10k left after 20 great nights out) 2k is fair enough (though we will probably average around 800 per meet up). I don't need fine dining. I'm perfectly happy with oyster omelette and hokkien mee and beer. The rest of the money can be spent shopping and buying toys and balloons for the little ones.
Same level of happiness at 0.0000001% the cost
I guess most people don't do this cause they're afraid of losing face. I don't give a shit about face. What is face? If you wanna judge me according to how expensive my wedding cost, then all that you're judging is how dumb I am. I think wedding is consumerism at its best. I don't need photographs of how happy I pretend I am. I value realness a lot more than that.. That said, I will still go for a wedding photoshoot! A photoshoot serves its purpose cause we know we are there for photos to be taken and make a fool of ourselves. It's different from having a camera man on the actual day.
Also, honeymoon will totally be a backpacking trip with a nice 1 night hotel stay every city we go. i.e.: stay budget for 4 days and explore the world, end city off w a nice night at a nice hotel, move on to next city. I think I'd much rather spend my money that way..
or on balloons
I guess all these thoughts may change after I meet the man of my life. Maybe I would want to throw a grand wedding so that his family will have a good impression of me and my family.. idk.. no one ever really know. But for now, fuck the white dress (I never liked the long train, so impractical and stupid and people have to watch out for it all the time), and throw me my fbts and singlet and hawker food.
Bubbles flew when the bride walked into the ballroom. We threw flower petals to welcome the newly weds in too.
It was phenomenal!
In the morning, there was the gate crash and the sisters bullied the shit out of the boys.
It was a really nice time getting to know the bride's (she's my cousin) friends more but most of the time I was playing with the little one:
baby peed on the bed the night before
It was a really good (albeit exhausting) day. But then the thinker in me started to ask: is this the kind of wedding I want? Is this how I want to remember the precious day I first share a legal union with the man of my life?
During dinner, I asked around for the cost of a typical wedding. I got mixed responses, but it seems like the range is from 50k onwards.
It seems almost like as if one is paying this 5-6 figure sum to have a terrible time. I mean, I hope my cousin enjoyed her wedding as much as I did, but this whole rush of changing into another attire, changing hairstyles, rushing to the different families and venues to get photos taken... idk. it seems really meaningless and tiring.
The photographer who tagged along was a really nice chap w a killer sense of humor. He really brightened up the whole atmosphere w his presence. But I don't like the idea of wedding photography.. Every moment seems so contrived. I wanna kiss my groom when he unveils me. I want to relish in that memory and bask in that joy forever. It's hard to do so when you have people telling you that the kiss should hold there for 5 sec and dictating that you should kiss more to the left and tilt your head a bit more etc etc.
Photographs should serve as an channel to teleport you back to that glorious moment when the photograph is taken. But with a wedding photographer, Most of these moments are unreal.. They're not close to our hearts. Yes I do want artefacts to look back upon when my hair turns grey and my teeth fall off but more so, I want the actual memories to hold close to my heart. In today's world of fb ig twitter, we create fake identities and memories just so that people can Like it. What does a like do anyway? Does it boost your ego and make us happier? Does it validate our existence? Is it a constant competition to get more likes and followers? I think that's fucking dumb. (but yes, I'm guilty of feeling that way sometimes, we all are) I think we are all losing ourselves to each other..
I would like my "wedding" to be more heartfelt and close. I think my ideal wedding will be to spend one day/night with every close group of relative/friends I have. Not just over dinner, but like doing smth (hitting the arcade, going to a theme park, play mahjiong after dinner, singing at the KTV, go clubbing and try not to get smashed etc). In this way, the people I care about will get to see my husband for who he really is; and to have some proper interaction with him. This instead of just seeing him/us as the "celebrity" of the night and having small talk that lasts for 5 min tops cause bride has to change into smth else etc.
I won't mind spending up to 2k on each family. (if we each have 10 groups of relative and friends (and 10 is a bit of a stretch), we would still have at least 10k left after 20 great nights out) 2k is fair enough (though we will probably average around 800 per meet up). I don't need fine dining. I'm perfectly happy with oyster omelette and hokkien mee and beer. The rest of the money can be spent shopping and buying toys and balloons for the little ones.
Same level of happiness at 0.0000001% the cost
I guess most people don't do this cause they're afraid of losing face. I don't give a shit about face. What is face? If you wanna judge me according to how expensive my wedding cost, then all that you're judging is how dumb I am. I think wedding is consumerism at its best. I don't need photographs of how happy I pretend I am. I value realness a lot more than that.. That said, I will still go for a wedding photoshoot! A photoshoot serves its purpose cause we know we are there for photos to be taken and make a fool of ourselves. It's different from having a camera man on the actual day.
Also, honeymoon will totally be a backpacking trip with a nice 1 night hotel stay every city we go. i.e.: stay budget for 4 days and explore the world, end city off w a nice night at a nice hotel, move on to next city. I think I'd much rather spend my money that way..
or on balloons
I guess all these thoughts may change after I meet the man of my life. Maybe I would want to throw a grand wedding so that his family will have a good impression of me and my family.. idk.. no one ever really know. But for now, fuck the white dress (I never liked the long train, so impractical and stupid and people have to watch out for it all the time), and throw me my fbts and singlet and hawker food.
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